End of a Great Weekend

First, I have to say after this week I have so much respect for single mom's and all the military mom's out there that do this way more often then I do. Isla has been wonderful, but it has been one of those busy non stop one woman show weeks. The best part of my weekend was an amazing night in with one of my long time best friends Jocelyn that I have known since the age of 14. She moved to Denver around the same time I moved to the Springs and is now on to her next adventure out in CA. We had so much fun making taco's (actually she cooked for me :) ) watched a cheesy chick flick "Remember Me" while she found humor in my countless vampire jokes due to the main star being Edward from Twlight, drank wine, and laughed at a huge box of pictures documenting all of our high school years. I don't know why, but several of these pictures were during our inspiring model phase where we did countless photo shoots then later took the roll of film to the one hour photo (ordered duplicates of course) and then photoshopped by hand our pictures aka: scissors to trim off excess body fat to have the ultimate picture. Only to 15 years later have hundreds of pictures tucked away in a box for us to laugh at for hours on end about our braces my white woman afro and crazy outfits that to name a few included so pretty scary outfits. We stayed up until 3:00 last night laughing about things that probably use to make us cry and all our old times and the crazy things we did together. The best part about "old" friends is no matter what life has in store for you over the years you can always pick right back up where you left off. I feel so blessed that over the years no matter where life has placed me I have been blessed with so many great people in my life and no matter where we move I always take a little part of everyone who has touched my life with me.

What's in a name?

It seems like every time we meet new people and they ask where did the name Isla come from and how do you say that or how do you spell that? After being an Emily myself and although I love my name I always hated being "Emily M" in school. I was also good friends with "Emily B" "Emily D" and "Emily S". Joey had the same problem being one of several Joe's in school and even more so into his adult life. I guess now he doesn't have to worry about that as much because at his job he just goes by his last name. Well when I was pregnant I remember we went back and forth on girls names for the first 4 months I was pregnant. I always like the more unique names while Joey liked the more traditional names. I bet we had each thrown out at least 200 names before I was laying on the couch one day watching Confessions of a Shopaholic (I know me shop never) well the main girl in the movie is named Isla Fisher. I remember hearing the name Isla when we were in England and I liked it back then. I said so what do you think about the name Isla and from the kitchen I heard I like that. Most people don't know how to say her name except teen boys and middle aged men who are all to familiar with the infamous beauty Ms. Isla Fisher. When you think about it is really easy? How do you say Island? Just drop the "and" and you get Eye-la. Isla is a Scottish/English name and is actually in the top 10 over in England. For me I guess having Joey and I married in England the name will always remind me of when our family began back in 2003 in Huntington, England and I am glad that Isla will carry a name that represents more than something that was popular at the time, but has a lot of meaning to it. I am sure she will be annoyed with people that don't know how to say her name at first, but I hope she likes the beauty of it and all it means to our family.

Here are a couple new pictures of Ms. Isla at 9 months old:

Working Mom Chronicles Part 1

First, the last four months have been amazing. I will never argue with anyone who says stay at home mom's have the hardest and most rewarding jobs in the world. A part of me knows I could be happy staying at home forever, while another part of me has missed utilizing my criminal justice background. I actually found myself analyzing crime patterns to the mom's in Isla's play group when one mom asked if the park was safe (this was one of many wake up calls that I wanted to use my degree). When I first started staying home I said I wasn't making any plans to go back to work. The right job could land my way in 2 weeks or 10 years, but I knew I would know it was the right job when I found it. Well a few weeks back I was selling baby stuff on craigslist when I clicked on the nonprofit job board and a position called Part Time Juvenile Assessor was listed. The job looked great. It was working for a non profit in the juvenile system working on assessing the juveniles that have been brought to the facility and later making recommendations to go forward with them to court. The facility is actually a school/detention center so for most people that know me this is where my passion is. I spent two years writing my master's degree thesis on the impact of educational variables on the criminal justice system, only to later graduate and end up in a job that I won't mention the name of only refer to it as 19 months of my life that I will never get back. Although my last job wasn't related to my degree I think I learned more about myself in those 19 months than I ever had in school. I always knew I was an ethical person, but I never truly understood how upset wasteful spending and unethical people were to me until I left that job. I met some great people at that job as well and even in a sea of corruption it was nice to know that truly good people still exist. Well long story short I interviewed about two weeks ago for the juvenile assessor position. I didn't tell anyone except my references about the interview because I didn't want to go into the interview with any thoughts about the position other than my own.

I knew that I needed to be very selective when I was looking for a new job. Leaving Isla part time is hard enough, but leaving her for a job that I don't even like is even worse. I tried to look at the positives and the negatives and still was at a loss if this was going to be the right fit for me. So I looked in a place that I wouldn't really think to look, but I was pretty sure it would give me the answers I needed. After what we will call the breakdown in Chicago I wrote a blog entry that I never posted on here (this was pre online blog and when I was writing the old fashion way) about what I was looking for in a job. Here was what I wrote (May 2009):

Over the last few years the hot topic has become self help, self purpose, and finding what we really want to do in life. Finding your purpose is an ever changing mission and what you may want at one point in your life will be something different the next, and although our dreams never truly change the perception of how obtainable they are shifts based on the complex aspects of life. This last week I have been at a conference in Chicago talking about sponsorship, big business, and how to market in these tough times. As others around me sat in the ten hour a day lecture conference they look attentive and they were taking intense notes. I caught myself thinking a few times this is such a waste of time, I feel I walked away with more than I ever could have imagined. I have realized that what I stand for is helping others, bettering society, and working for the greater good rather than the greeter greed. Sitting back listing to big business talk about sponsoring huge promotions at the sporting matching and launching national campaigns while they lay off hundreds of hard workers who now face loosing their homes as they watch their families fall apart, I realized now more than ever that finding a new job needs to be my priority. During the first day of the conference I felt like an outsider looking in. A year ago at the TRiO conference in Washington DC I felt like a part of history and that the people in the room were making a difference today. I was hoping for the same uplifting feeling and instead I felt like I had somehow turned to everything I don’t stand for. So after lunch I thought I just needed to take a short walk and clear my head for a few minutes, and I could come back and focus. A few minutes turned to three hours at the art institute, walking on the pier, dinner at the Hard Rock Café, and a walking over two hours trying to figure out where to go from here. I guess I started thinking about the age old saying what is the shortest point between two points? Almost everyone is thinking it is a straight line. Often times taking the most direct route shows us that we have reached our destination, but what truly makes us understand why we need to move from point A to point B is the journey it takes to get there. I am realizing that as I write this my story still remains particially unwritten and the only way to truly write our future is to create it by controlling our actions. I need to find a job that supports my values if I am ever going to be happy in a job.


So after reading this I guess I reminded myself of the type of job that I want to do on top of my most important job in the world being Isla's mom. So long story short today I just received a call offering me the job. I feel so blessed in a very tough economy to have landed a job that fits me so well both personally and professionally. I will be working part time in the mornings and will be home by 12:30 everyday to have the afternoons and weekends with Isla. I am excited to have this new adventure ahead of me and looking forward to updating me new career journey.

Thank you to my wonderful references you are all truly the best and thank you to all my friends and family that support this next step on my professional journey.

The Difference One Year Makes

I can't believe the difference one year makes these days. Isla is now only 74 days away from her first birthday and we are celebrating Joey's first father's day. Although we have celebrated the last five years because Leo and Delilah gave him a card each year this is his first year with Isla. For me I have never really been one that liked surprises...... maybe it is when I put a lot of work into a gift I want to give it to the person right away. So Joey has already opened is presents today so it is more of a father's day weekend. This time last year I was in Oregon for my baby shower, putting finishing touches on the nursery, and getting ready to start labor and delivery classes. I remember after the labor classes I left feeling more unsure than going into it. I remember one couple that showed up in matching track suits at 7am ready to take on the world and had already covered the class material. Another couple was set on going all natural and looked down up everyone else..... I think especially me when the instructor asked on a scale of one to ten what our threshold of pain was with ten being the highest I answered two. Well fast forward only 365 days later and I am watching Isla on her video monitor while she sleeps and writing this blog. Amazing what a difference one year can make. It is especially fun for me because my best friend's daughter is one year older than Isla so to see what she is doing makes me so excited for the next year to come. Happy Father's Day everyone!

Thankful Thursday

Happy Father's Day!

Grocery Shopping and Internet Dating

After almost seven years of shopping at the base grocery store you think I would learn to avoid payday. Today I drove on base for what was going to be a peaceful shopping trip only to find an insane parking lot when I remembered it was payday. Payday at the commissary is nothing short of organized insanity. Well today like many trips I have taken before was no different. As I grabbed my cart and entered into the fruit and veggie department I heard a recorder. Remember those from middle school band? The things they give you before you can be trusted with your real instrument. Not that I was in band or played the saxophone ;) Well a boy about 5 years old was playing his recorder. Not really a song just a lot of high notes. Well he kept it up for most of the fruit and veggie area then on to the meat area. I was thinking maybe this was my sign that I should become a veggie. High notes coming from a recorder could be nothing short than a sign from God at this point. The little boy ended up sticking his "recorder" in the meat packages and breaking the plastic on about all the hamburger and was starting on the steak when his mom finally noticed. The lady looked at her son and words were exchanged before the meat covered recorder was taken away. I wanted to tell her it was going to be ok and it wasn't that bad, but since I didn't have Isla with me I felt I would be like an enemy in the battle field out of uniform where she wouldn't know if I was an ally aka: another parent or the enemy a stuck up person thinking watch your kid. So I kept walking and put my meat on my need to get at Safeway list. I heard the lady tell another woman that she was new to the base and things had just been really crazy because she didn't know anyone yet. I think this is one of the hardest parts of military life when you have small kids is moving to a place where you don't know anyone. When you have small kids it is so hard to get out and meet people.

I guess a series of instances like this one pushed me to either my lowest point socially or the best thing I have done in a long time............. I am internet dating. Now don't freak out and check my relationship status I am not talking E-Harmony I am talking about meeting other mom's. Now don't get me wrong I truly love all my friends with older kids, no kids, younger kids, but there is just something about having a people you can talk to about day to day issues going on with your baby. A person that totally understands how it feels to be Cinderella showing up for the ball one minute with the cutest, sweetest baby in the world, only to later look at your watch to see how close to nap time it is to have to make a quick stage left before it all falls apart. So a few weeks ago I went out on www.meetup.com and connected with a great group of mom's in a baby group here in the Springs. I went into my first "meet up" not really knowing what to expect. I wasn't sure if it was going to be a group of crazy internet people (might I add that I was now one of them) meeting at a park like total strangers? I am happy to report that I actually met some really great nice people and I am very excited to get together with my new "internet friends" more often.

Did I put myself out there for any one reason? A part of me didn't want to be a mom in four years having a break down in the meat department with my child playing a recorder. Another part of me knows that Isla needs to be around other kids and yet another part of me loves having people I can laugh with about all the crazy mom stuff. So yet another new adventure coming my way, but I am very excited about this one. :)

A Day of Just Emily

Saturday was such a fun day. I spent four hours of just being me. Joey and I participated in Parents Night Out today for the first time since Isla was born. If you don't know parents night out is a great program offered on base at Peterson that gives Parents childcare for 4 hours on a Friday or Saturday for a pretty good rate ($20.00). Great program I would totally look into it if you haven't already. Don't get me wrong Isla is the most amazing, sweetest baby you will ever meet, but sometimes it is nice to have that break to just be me again if only for a few hours. A few hours where you aren't thinking about mommy things like when was the last time you changed her diaper or fed her how long much longer until nap time. I think as parents the older our children get the more separation anxiety we get and no I am not only talking about the kids. As parents leaving our kids becomes almost like working out for those non working out types like me. You start to talk yourself out of doing it even though you a) need to do it for your own well being and b) you will feel great afterwards. You will rationalize a million other things you could be doing and you put yourself on the back burner. I swore before we had Isla I didn't want to be one of those couples who never went out on their own anymore once they had kids. I am not talking about going out every night of the weekend, but once a month just to reconnect as you instead of mom and dad. I never realized how hard it would be to get to the point of being able to go out again. I think it is especially hard for all parents to be able to recognize that leaving your kids for a few hours will not de-thrown you as mother or father of the year, but it is especially hard for people who live away from family. Your family is more likely to kick you out of the house for a date night rather than having to find that motivation on your own.

So for our big day out we went to go see Prince of Persia and ate dinner at Chili's :) The movie was good and the dinner was ok, but to be just me for a few hours was priceless :) After going out today we made a commitment to each other that no matter what Isla, work, school, working out, we will make time to just be Joey and Emily once a month. I think it is one of the many things I want to do to make sure that as we grow as parents we are still able to keep a part of ourselves.

Thankful Thursday

So many great things to be thankful for this week.

1) Joey's surgery is over and went well. What a year for our family and all I can say is thank goodness for good insurance. Between my prenatal care, Isla's birth, Isla's flu scare, and Joey having a lump removed from his back today without insurance it would have been a very stressful year.

2) Leo & Delilah even on days like today where they decided to eat a roll of toilet paper, I still love the joy they bring to Isla. She can be surrounded by a sea of toys and all she wants is Leo and Dee.

3) Round 2 of the 30 day shred. After falling off the wagon in Oregon it was/is time to get back into my 30 day shred routine. 7 days complete so far.

4) Sunny days to walk go to the park and enjoy lots of fun days with my family.

5) A new class of students starting with me on Monday. (All new freshman brand new to the college)

Summer is Finally Here!

I don't think I ever really realized how much I loved summer until I spent nearly all last summer hiding out in my basement trying to stay cool while I was 8/9 months pregnant. I love that I can walk in the mornings outside, take Isla to the park, spend the weekends at the pool, and when Leo and Delilah start getting wild and need exercise I can put them outside without any fear of them freezing to death. I can't believe at the end of summer I will have a one year old! Shortly after I had Isla my best friend told me the concept of pregnancy really being 18 months (9 months in and 9 months out). At the time it made sense, but I really think you are so wrapped up in the moment aka: survival mode it doesn't really click until you hit that 9 month mark. The first 9 months you will be pregnant and if you are like me complain about being tired, sick, etc. all the while people with kids just laugh at you while they think you have no clue what you are in for. I guess the pregnancy is actually the easy part. You will spend hours on end researching every sign and symptom and that is how most people can peg a first time mom. Those on the second or third round don't really care to understand why they have heartburn or morning sickness they just deal with it and move on. Then the next 9 months come the lack of sleep, the struggles of going back to work or not going back to work or the fact your entire life has changed more in the day you delivered your baby then it has in your entire life, the fact that you won't know everything or even half of everything, and what was predictable before is nothing but predictable now. Once you hit that first 9 months it is amazing how much they start giving back and how each day something new happens that will melt your heart over and over again. I love looking at the video monitor and seeing Isla waiving at me going Dada Dada (side note she now says Dada and Dee) I am still waiting for Mama. I love that she feeds herself so many finger foods and I know she is done when she starts feeding Leo and Delilah instead of herself. Now don't get me wrong those first 9 months are amazing to (I know those of you with kids under 9 months are giving me the side eye right now) I just think the 9 month mark is when they move from the infant baby stage into the little person stage and they start to develop into the people they will become. For Isla I can see so many qualities in her already I can't wait to watch her grow over the course of this summer and on into her life. She is becoming the most amazing little lady these days. I guess part of me was a little sad when I realized she is already 9 months old and becoming such her own person while the other half of me can't wait to see what is next to come. That same part of me is smiling while I have sold several of the little baby items on craigslist, while 8/9 month pregnant mom's brave the heat to come pick the ever so needed items I am selling such as the Bumbo, swing, enough clothes for triplets, etc. I really want to say all these things you don't really need, but instead I smile and tell them congratulations because I remember how exciting it was and thankful for all the people last summer that let me live in my little bubble of thinking I needed a onsie in every color. So here is to the summer of 2010, my first summer as a mom, my third summer in Colorado, and the first of many more summer with my family.