First week of Hybrid Stay at Home Mom/New Job

What an amazing first week. I feel like I am on information overload, but I love having a job that I get to really apply all of my criminal justice knowledge and help juveniles that need my help the most. The circumstances many of these kids are in are way beyond their age and it is such a humbling experience. My work environment is a lot different than anything I have ever worked in before, but so far so good. I actually share an old holding cell that was converted into an office with one other lady. All of my co-workers are great and even looking past the records of the kids and just seeing the person they are all very kind at heart. Today was pretty exciting I completed escape and evade training so I got to brush up a little on my karate skills (not that I should need them). The day goes so fast. Granted I am only there a few hours, but from the time I walk in the door until the time I leave it is non stop and I love it. Isla has been spending the mornings with Joey this week and will start at the Little Red Wagon Daycare next Monday. She is loving spending time with her daddy and soon her new friends. I wish I could write all what I am doing here with my new job, but I can't so if you want more details I will fill you in personally. I just wanted everyone to know that I was adjusting and we are all doing great.

I know when I went back to work after maternity leave I felt like (actually I think I was) having a breakdown from stress. I would smile on the outside, but on the inside I knew I was so unhappy with my job I couldn't feel right about anything else. I think that is one thing about parenthood that is by far the hardest that no one ever tells you about, the guilt. I think if you spend 24 hours a day with your child you still feel like it isn't enough because you always feel like you should do more. After Isla left the hospital with H1N1 the guilt was just about killing me. I would play things back in my mind thinking if I just hadn't taken her to daycare or if I had just done this or that, until finally I realized that I had to let go and accept it wasn't my fault. I feel confident now that I can go to work part time during the week and feel good with my choices. I am very excited to see where my career takes me over the next few years. I am thankful for all the great support from my family and friends. Every bit of encouragement has been wonderful.